台词如下： Most Haunted Derek Acorah.....Hugh Laurie John Gilbert.....Fred Armisen Yvette Fielding.....Amy Poehler Stuart Torrevill.....Bill Hader Narrator: As the team climbed the stairs to Chillingham Castle bedroom, Derek Acorah insisted he could hear the sound of a young boy crying. The closer he got, the more agitated he became. (Scene begins in nightvision..) Derek Acorah: How are our sound levels? John: Nothing out of the ordinary yet. Derek Acorah: I hear the cries of a small boy. He's crying out. I've been drawn to the energy around the armoire. Everyone else, stay there. Yvette: Stuart, you h*e your camera ready? Stuart: Ready. Derek Acorah: So here we stand in total darkness in the room of a small boy who suffocated in this very armoire. (shouts) Do you h*e a name? Are you here with us? Why do you cry out? Yvette: Speak to us. Let your presence be known! Stuart: If you can hear us, give us a sign! (Extremely loud fart sound is heard - loud laughter from audience) Stuart: What was that? Yvette: Did anyone else hear that? John: Yeah, I did. Derek Acorah: (stammering) N-no, I just uh shifted my feet, uh, i-i-it was probably just the tennis slippers scooting against the floor. Yvette: No, I'm sure that wasn't it! Do we h*e playback on that? John: Well, let me check. Derek Acorah: (stammering) N0, d-d-d-don't bother, don't bother. John: Got it. (Fart sound is played back) Yvette: Let's hear it again. (Sound plays again - laughter from audience) Yvette: Oh my God! Stuart: That made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up! John: I'm calling for back-up on the walkie talkie. Derek Acorah: Oh, no.. Uh, it sounded more like a, uh, like a very fat bug uh just flew into the windowpane. That's what it sounded like to me. Yvette: That was not a bug! Everyone, listen to it again! (Sound plays again - more laughter) Derek Acorah: This..this is an old castle. It's probably large stones, shifting in the foundation. Yvette: It's like a spirit is trying to tell us something. John: You know, I can slow it down... Yvette: yeah, good idea, good idea. Let's see if it's the boy trying to communicate with us. John: Here it is... (Sound plays slowly - extremely loude laughter from audience) (Derek rolls his eyes and groans) Yvette: Shhh!!! Listen.. It sounded like he said a name. Julian. Did you hear it? Ju-u-ulian. Ju-ulian, Julian (To the room): Who is Julian, are you Julian? Stuart: Let's hear it again. (Sound plays slowly - more laughter) Stuart: Sounded more like Roger to me. RO-O-O-Oger. Ro-o-oger. (to room): Is there a Roger here? John: Let me hear it again, but slower. (Sound plays very, very slow - very loud laughter) John: Seems to me it sounds like a young boy saying, "WHHHYYYY? WHHHHYYYY?" Derek Acorah: Uh, I think I just heard far-off cries from another room in a far off area of the castle! W-we should move there immediately and le*e here! Yvette: But there's so much paranormality here. Stuart, do you h*e playback on the thermal camera? Stuart: I'm gonna need some light. (The room lights up after being in nightvision) Stuart: Ok, let me cue it up...Got it! (Thermal cam shows infrared image of Derek, moving down to his butt, where a misty cloud of air escapes. - Laughter and applause from audience) Derek Acorah: (rolls his eyes and mumbles) Oh, God. Yvette: Oh, my god. This is terrifying! Stuart, can we see it again in slow motion? Derek Acorah: Oh, please! (Thermal cam image is shown again in slow motion - more laughter and applause) Yvette: What do you make of it, Stuart? Stuart: The spirit's energy seems to be focused right behind Derek. Derek Acorah: Look, w-we should get out of here, t-this could be bad you know. Yvette: Oh my God! As I'm approaching you, Derek, there's an intesifying sulfuric smell! Everyone! Come over here and stand next to Derek! John: Alright, nobody move. There is definitely evil here. Stuart: Oh, I'm getting light headed!!! Derek Acorah: (Fed up) Oh, bloody hell, I broke wind alright?!!! Why- Why do you h*e to investigate things so exhaustively?!! Yvette: Because we're bloody paranormal investigators! Derek Acorah: Look, I LET ONE RIP!!! You've solved the mystery, are you happy?!!! Child's voice in background: Julian! Everyone: Maybe we should le*e, yeah let's le*e. Definitely. Alright.