超级搞笑的意大利英语

One day I gonna to Malta to a big hotel.
in the morning I go down to eat a breakfast.
I tell the waitress I want two pieces of toast.
she brings me only one piece.
I tell her "I wanna 2 piece".
She say "Go to the toilet".
I say "you no understand, I wanna 2 piece on my plate".
She say to me: "you better not piss on the plate, you son of a bitch".
I do not even know this lady and she call me son of a beach!!

Later I go to eat at a biggest restaurant.
The waitress brings me a spoon and a knife but no fork.
I tell her "I wanna a fock."
and she tella me,"everyone wanna *."
I tella her,"you no understand I wanna fork on the table."
She say, "You better not * on the table, you son of a bitch."

So I go back to my room in my hotel, and there is no sheets on the bed.
I call the manager and telle him "I wanna sheet."
he say to me to go the toilet.
I say "you no understand! I wanna sheet on my bed."
He say," You better not shit on the bed, you son of a bitch!"

I go to the Check out counter, the man at the desk said," Peace on you."
and I say," Piss on you too!! you son of a beach!"
I'm going back to Italia!
Arrivederci!